Saturday, November 12, 2005

I'm still awake at 12:50 AM

Look at me! I'm still up! But I have to go to bed because I'm meeting people for breakfast at 10:00, and I have a baby shower to go to directly after that.

Everyone's having babies right now. Is this what happens? People have babies? My mom and dad really want me to have one. A baby, that is. But I'm still undecided.

People with babies, or kids in general, seem to want everyone else to have them. "You should really have kids, " They'll say, "It's the best thing ever." But when you look in their eyes, you can see they're really saying, "Please have a kid because I can't stand the fact that you get to sleep in until 11:00 AM whenever you want to, when I have to wake up at 6:00 every morning and go to birthday parties and soccer games and dance classes and doctor's appointments and have noisy dinners and get no sleep and do it all again the next morning."

Of course, I exaggerate. I love kids a lot. As a matter of fact, my friends just adopted a baby from China and I met her last night. I fell in love with her immediately. And I can't even STAND how much I love my nieces and nephews. I mean, seriously. It's ridiculous.

And that might be why I don't feel ready to have one yet. It's scary to love someone that much. I can't imagine if it's your own!

So, I'll keep sleeping in and having sex and drinking wine and a lot of caffeine and having quiet dinners and long showers until I'm ready.

Wow. How'd that happen? I was just gonna tell you I stayed up late.
I'm weird.

4 Comments:

Blogger Michael Markowitz said...

Why am I still up, too??

People pressure other people to have kids for the same reason they pressure other people to eat at their restaurants and shop at their shoe stores and drive their cars: to validate their choices. To reassure them theyh haven't made a mistake.

You just keep having fun.

I'm going to sleep.

1:02 AM  
Blogger Max Koch said...

I've actually been told it's my OBLIGATION to pro-create; that I'm actually SELFISH not to consider it. People come at me like that all the time, so you nailed it, darling. Beautifully.

I think I'm going to go get the BIG SNIP now. Yeah, that's how I'M gonna have fun today. THAT'LL show 'em!

7:45 AM  
Blogger Michael Markowitz said...

I would say to all those people who tell me and Max and Lisa it's our obligation to procreate that they should be effin' grateful that there are people like us who pay boatloads of taxes to support the schools and parks and day care and so forth without draining off any benefits!!

That having been said, no one's snipping anything.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Viewfinder said...

i always planned to have kids, and always liked them... hell I used to be one, and never really got over it.

but now that i have them, the thing is... i don't like kids anymore. not mine, of course -- mine are great. just the rest of them. i really can't stand them (and their parents are hard to take, too... i find myself silently asking, all the time, "what are they thinking? somebody needs to smack that brat!" or "can't they see they're raising a serial killer?"

my wife argues that they're just kids... it's not their fault that they're little assholes. but see, they just grow up to be big assholes. you know, george bush was a kid, too, and it wasn't his fault, either... but now we're stuck with the guy!

this is coming from an ex- scout leader, by the way. by now i know kids -- i've made a detailed study, and believe me, they suck.

that, plus i can't help calculating how much money they cost... it's like this little running total in my head, for the groceries, and shoes and school supplies and iPods et cetera without end... i think, "hm, there's a second honeymoon in tahiti, there's a summer jaunt to rome, there's that new camera i wanted..."

i'm sick, i know... still, this is something i know about: if you like kids, let your siblings have 'em!

p.s. you can't listen to your parents about this one... they've secretly been waiting years to see you get your comeuppance for all the trouble you caused them!

5:38 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home