August 3rd, 2008

Leaps and bounds.
Leaps and bounds.

This kid is changing so much every day, it's hard to keep up with him!
He's clapping and waving and blowing kisses. He's putting his hands up to ask, "Where?" and "Why"? He's playing peek-a-boo and going a thousand miles a minute across the wood floor, holding a maraca in each hand and using them as skis. And he's eating solid food! Boy oh BOY does this kid like to eat! Holy crap!!

I've been back to work and I enjoy the hell out of it. It's a joy exploring that side of me again; Who I am in front of the camera... How I am outside of the house, with a whole crew of new people. It's fun and exhilarating.

But I miss Garrett so much when I'm gone, it's painful sometimes. Don't get me wrong. It's not all day. It just pops up several, no MANY times and it feels like someone punched me in the chest. And then it's all I can do not to cry off my fake eyelashes and run off set, into the street where I high-jack a car and make them drive me home. Why I wouldn't just get into my own car is beyond me. Why does it have to be violent?

And during those painful moments I either:
A. Call Russ and find out how he and Garrett are. I try to get every little juicy detail out of him. Poops? Pees? How much has he eaten? How was his nap? Did he have a bottle? Is he playing? Then I ask the same things about Garrett. See what I did there?

B. Remind myself why I'm working. I can't be a great mom if that's all I am. I need to have other outlets. (Right?) I'm also our only way to get family health insurance right now. Russ freelances, so that part is on me. Plus, we're going to need all the extra money we can get. Because this kid's food budget is going to be in the thousands! Oh yeah.. And college.

C. I talk to the person standing closest to me about what a great kid I have.

or

D. I stare at pictures of Garrett and Russ on my iphone.

The good news is, my work is not consistent. I'm off for the ENTIRE month of August. And that makes me so happy, I can't even tell you. The other good news is Garrett is so happy with the people who surround him when I'm not there. He's not missing out on anything. I am. But he's not. The other good news is, if I ever feel I'm working too much, I can stop. I have my priorities straight, and I will not let work tip the scales when I much prefer being Garrett's mom. It's amazing how clear choices have become for me. If anything is to the detriment of my son, it stops. THAT is quite a revelation.

I worked the last couple of weeks and my mother-in-law was here with him. It means the world that she gets to spend so much concentrated time with him. They love each other so much, and she teaches him A LOT while she's here.

So, there's what's been happening. Oh, I guess I could tell you what I've been working on. "Clean House", on the Style Network. My shows start airing in late August. I've shot five so far. I don't know how many more I'll be doing, but I'm lucky to have done any.

Garrett's up from his nap and I'm going to try to convince Russ to take us to brunch!