Santa's Not the Only One With a Pot Belly
I just got back from a week in Oregon with my husband's family. It was a great holiday week and we had a wonderful time.
Now let's cut to the chase. I GAINED THREE POUNDS! Now, I know three pounds doesn't sound like much, but it is. I stood in my closet today trying to find something to wear and NOTHING fit me! I tried not to cry, but I was seriously pissed.
Unfortunately, I'm in a business where I need to be thin to work. I'll never be skinny. I don't want to be. I think Teri Hatcher was way hotter BEFORE "Desperate Housewives". But I need to take those three pounds off, plus another three before the crazy audition season starts. That's in a month.
That's all. I'm bummed. But Christmas dinner was almost worth it.
And to my friends who are reading this and saying, "You don't look like you gained any weight," you can kiss my ass, because I did. Don't believe me? Tell my jeans to fucking fit.
Now let's cut to the chase. I GAINED THREE POUNDS! Now, I know three pounds doesn't sound like much, but it is. I stood in my closet today trying to find something to wear and NOTHING fit me! I tried not to cry, but I was seriously pissed.
Unfortunately, I'm in a business where I need to be thin to work. I'll never be skinny. I don't want to be. I think Teri Hatcher was way hotter BEFORE "Desperate Housewives". But I need to take those three pounds off, plus another three before the crazy audition season starts. That's in a month.
That's all. I'm bummed. But Christmas dinner was almost worth it.
And to my friends who are reading this and saying, "You don't look like you gained any weight," you can kiss my ass, because I did. Don't believe me? Tell my jeans to fucking fit.
posted by Lisa at 1:57 AM
2 Comments:
"And to my friends who are reading this and saying, 'You don't look like you gained any weight,' you can kiss my ass, because I did."
Dude... ANY excuse to smooch on that big ol' FAT backside of yours! Mmm-MM! Johnny'll leave TEETH MARKS.
Three pounds. Sheesh. What're you sweatin'? You're a warrior. Put your mind to it and your body will shed. You're great at that shit.
When Elizabeth Taylor became the first actress to get a million dollars a picture, for Cleopatra, Buddy Hackett went on The Tonight Show and said he'd only offer her a hundred thousand. Carson asked why? Hackett said cause then she'd tell him to kiss her ass and that's really all he wants to do anyway.
As for your "weight problem" eat one salt-and-sugar-free day and you'll be three pounds lighter. End of story.
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