27 Weeks
Two things happened on Friday that I never thought I would see in my lifetime:
1: Bob Barker's last "The Price is Right" aired.
2: I became 27 weeks pregnant.
I wish I had some brilliant analogy about how "The Price is Right" is like pregnancy... but I don't. Oh wait! I just thought of something! Contestants do better on the show when they have the whole audience helping them, and supposedly parents do better when they have the help of their family and friends. You know... That whole "It takes a village" thing? How does that work?
I'll try again.
Pregnancy is like Plinko. Some days you feel great and other days your sciatic nerve hurts so badly, you want to punch someone. Either way, you have to let the chips fall where they may. See what I did there? Plinko? Chips falling? You have to be a "TPIR" fan to get it. And you have to be really lame to find it funny.
We bought an SUV yesterday. A small one. It doesn't get bad gas mileage. I mean, what's the point of shopping with canvas bags if I'm gonna drive a Hummer? Still, I never saw myself in one of these cars, especially since I've been driving the diminutive Beetle for five years. Russ and I walked out of the dealership feeling less jovial about buying the car, and more sore from being screwed by the salesmen. Those guys are a special breed. At one p0int, sitting directly in front of Blond Salesman and Middle Eastern Salesman, I looked at Russ and said, "My only goal at this point is to walk out of here not feeling totally screwed." Both salesmen laughed uncomfortably but knew I wasn't kidding. Anyway, we got the car. It kicks ass. We found out tonight it holds a ton of groceries in canvas bags. And it should be perfect for Sesame and all his gear.
Lastly, Russ and I are trying to get the guest room cleaned out so we can turn it into the nursery. Well, today we ended up going through a bunch of letters of mine from the late 80's and early 90's from my ex-boyfriends. It made me realize how different I am now than I was in my teens and twenties, and how grateful I am that I learned enough about life and myself to end up with someone like Russ, who is the only man on this planet I would want to procreate with.
This morning I was 150.4 pounds. That's the third thing I never thought I'd see in this lifetime: My weight over 150. It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?
1: Bob Barker's last "The Price is Right" aired.
2: I became 27 weeks pregnant.
I wish I had some brilliant analogy about how "The Price is Right" is like pregnancy... but I don't. Oh wait! I just thought of something! Contestants do better on the show when they have the whole audience helping them, and supposedly parents do better when they have the help of their family and friends. You know... That whole "It takes a village" thing? How does that work?
I'll try again.
Pregnancy is like Plinko. Some days you feel great and other days your sciatic nerve hurts so badly, you want to punch someone. Either way, you have to let the chips fall where they may. See what I did there? Plinko? Chips falling? You have to be a "TPIR" fan to get it. And you have to be really lame to find it funny.
We bought an SUV yesterday. A small one. It doesn't get bad gas mileage. I mean, what's the point of shopping with canvas bags if I'm gonna drive a Hummer? Still, I never saw myself in one of these cars, especially since I've been driving the diminutive Beetle for five years. Russ and I walked out of the dealership feeling less jovial about buying the car, and more sore from being screwed by the salesmen. Those guys are a special breed. At one p0int, sitting directly in front of Blond Salesman and Middle Eastern Salesman, I looked at Russ and said, "My only goal at this point is to walk out of here not feeling totally screwed." Both salesmen laughed uncomfortably but knew I wasn't kidding. Anyway, we got the car. It kicks ass. We found out tonight it holds a ton of groceries in canvas bags. And it should be perfect for Sesame and all his gear.
Lastly, Russ and I are trying to get the guest room cleaned out so we can turn it into the nursery. Well, today we ended up going through a bunch of letters of mine from the late 80's and early 90's from my ex-boyfriends. It made me realize how different I am now than I was in my teens and twenties, and how grateful I am that I learned enough about life and myself to end up with someone like Russ, who is the only man on this planet I would want to procreate with.
This morning I was 150.4 pounds. That's the third thing I never thought I'd see in this lifetime: My weight over 150. It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?
posted by Lisa at 12:38 AM
1 Comments:
Your stabs at "Price is Right" pregnancy analogies made me snort!
Congrats on the SUV! And very sweet what ya said about the Good Doc...
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