Wednesday, December 31, 2008

December 31st, 2008

The symbolism of 2008 was not lost on me as I removed Alanis Morisette's "Jagged Little Pill" from my car's cd player and replaced it with songs about the A B Cs.

2008 was my first full year as a mom, and a year filled with huge adjustments, changes, and awakenings. (No, Jeff. Not the movie with Robert Deniro and Robin Williams.)

In 2008 I lost and mourned a 21-year friendship, but I was able to rekindle some friendships from my past that I hadn't realized how very much I missed. I also made some new friends who are already very dear. The saying about closing a door was never truer.

In 2008 I worked a pretty good amount, and it is only now that I am realizing how grateful I should be (and am). The truth is, it's hard to be at work and think of anything other than getting home to my boys. But I'm thankful I was able to contribute, and that I could do so with relatively little time spent out of the house. It's just that every hour away from here seems like an eternity. But there are so many moms who have to work full time and don't have the luxury of working as little as I do. So I am truly humbled and thankful.

In 2008, my father recovered beautifully from his stem-cell transplant and nearly-fatal infection. Last night we broke bread with the man who donated his stem cells to save my father's life. It was surreal, to say the least. He is an incredible person with an amazing family and it was an honor to meet him. Even writing that sentence I can't believe it. My dad looks incredible these days, and seems to feel pretty darn good too. My mom is radiant and, aside from a few ailments that she tries not to complain about, she is in great health. I'm telling you, the ways 2007 ended... I never could have predicted 2008 would end this way. And with the way I feel about my folks, I couldn't feel luckier to get to be with them still, and in good health.

I got to see Russ FINALLY work on something he loves and is passionate about in 2008. He and my brother sold an on-line talk show to Sony and it seems like Russ is almost living his dream: Writing, directing, producing, editing... Basically everything he's brilliant at. Best of all, he makes his own schedule and is able to make Garrett's doctor's appointments and even sneak away to the zoo! It's about time. Today, the internet. Tomorrow... Cable? I am still in awe of the man I married, even though we're a tad older, a lot busier, and dorky parents now. He's my dream man. Truly.

In 2008 Garrett learned a few words, learned to walk, got 12 teeth, had lengthy, imaginary phone conversations, enjoyed his gym class, laughed more than I knew was legal, made me laugh more than I knew I could, learned to chew and to drink from a straw, discovered Robek's juice, discovered his hands, and hair, and eyes, and ears and penis, loved taking baths, loved taking walks, stole my heart, filled my soul, and made me more unbelievably grateful and happy than I can even begin to explain.

In 2008 I tried to learn to ease up, let go, and let stuff happen. I still have to practice all of that. I discovered I have more issues than I was aware of, and I let go of things and people that made those issues worse. I learned more about my close friends, I learned to lean on people, I even learned to say, "No". 2008 made me realize how much more growing I have to do, and want to do.

All in all, 2008 was an eventful year. It was also a beautiful year. I pray that 2009 has even more joy and love, laughter and hope, more time with friends, more time with family, more awe, more... More. There is so much more I want to say, and I wish I could say it all more eloquently. But here's to a great 2009.

Happy New Year.