Mucus and Plug.
See, there's this woman at work who just had her third kid and she's in her early forties, beautiful, and seemingly very knowledgeable about all that is Baby. (She's also an example of how even a woman in her forties can have a kick-ass body just MONTHS after giving birth. For those of you keeping score, I am merely in my mid-thirties, so I can probably do it in minutes.)
Anyhoo... We were having one of our Baby Chats on Friday and I was telling her about my Braxton-Hicks contractions and about how hard Sesame is kicking and how wild it all is. And she said, "The weirdest thing is when your mucus plug comes out." At this point I had two options. One: I could say, "Oh yeah. Mucus plug. I've heard that's a trip." Or two: I could say, "WHAT THE FUCK IS A MUCUS PLUG???" I chose the latter reaction.
"Oh", says she, "Your doctor probably just hasn't told you yet. Your mucus plug basically holds everything in there. It comes out a couple days before you go into labor. I had no idea what it was when it happened to me the first time and it really freaked me out." REALLY? IT FREAKED YOU OUT? WHY WOULD SOMETHING LIKE A FREAKING MUCUS PLUG COMING OUT OF YOU FREAK YOU OUT?????????
Mucus plug. The name alone is enough to send me into an early labor. I'm gonna call it something else. Baby cork? Infant seal? Tot stopper? Let me try each of them in a sentence.
Goodness, it appears my baby cork fell out.
Well, look at that! My infant seal is in the toilet.
Finally! My tot stopper popped.
Okey Dokey! Tot stopper it is! So, now at least I know to look out for my tot stopper to come out sometime in August or September. Thank God someone warned me!
And now a totally unrelated word of advice:
Do NOT watch Style Network's new show "I Propose" if you are seven months pregnant and your emotional state is as weak as your bladder. You will waste a full hour of your life crying and snotting all over yourself.