Garrett

Garrett Mitchell was born at 12:38 PM on Tuesday September 18th, 2007.
He weighed 8.27 Ounces and was 20 and 3/4 inches long.
Our lives are forever changed.

I have never felt such a roller coaster of emotions, nor have I ever been more exhausted. I think I can say the same for Russ.

All the fears I posted in my pregnancy blog have been replaced by new ones. I no longer fear my life changing, or being thought of only as "Mom". Garrett fits in perfectly and we can't imagine life without him. It really does happen like that. My fears now are of being a good enough mom, of being able to protect my son, of ever being able to sleep deeply again... I now always have one ear listening to Garrett.

But, fears seem like a waste of time now. It's much better to spend that time watching Russ burp Garrett, or getting some extra sleep, or washing little socks and hats. I hope this time doesn't go by too fast. It's all so simple and perfect.

My heart has grown. My family has grown. Life is pretty amazing.

40 Weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't mean to go seven days without blogging. But it probably gave you a sense that you were waiting for something. Just waiting and waiting and waiting.

WELL, SCREW YOU! I'M WAITING TO POP A KID OUT AND HE'S TAKING HIS SWEET DAMN TIME!

My mother-in-law came to town on Tuesday, which was my official due date according to my ob/gyn. So, I'm about five days late now. Yesterday contractions started coming pretty regularly. For a time, they were coming every three to five minutes! For a time. Then they started spreading out again. Every nine minutes. Every eleven. Every twenty. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! We spent the whole day on "contraction watch", writing down every single freaking one.

I'm not supposed to even call the doctor until I have them every five minutes for an hour!! Well, that's okay I guess. We're getting closer, at least. It's just so damn weird waiting for your entire life to change, and timing it with a tacky white stop watch you bought at Target for $9.99.

Today I told Mom and Russ that we had to get out of the house because I couldn't have another day like that. I took the car to get it washed in the morning, then we all went to Babies "R" Us to return a bunch of stuff and buy a bunch of stuff, then Mom treated us to a great lunch at Cheesecake Factory. It was 4:00 when we were done and my back wasn't able to take any more walking or standing.

Tomorrow I go to the ob to see where we stand. Or squat. I was 168 pounds this morning. I have a feeling I won't be writing again until I'm officially a Mommy. Thank you for reading my pregnancy blog. I can't tell you what it has meant to me to be able to put all of these feelings out into the uterus. I mean the universe. The fact that anyone has been reading it is just an extra, very surreal bonus.

I promise I will do my darndest to keep a Mommy Blog going. Even if they're short entries. We're embarking on something big here. We're ready!

39 Weeks, Sunday

165.6 today! I guess Sesame was retaining water the other morning.

Ten years ago today, Russ and I had dinner at T.G.I. Friday's, saw "Copland", and kissed for the first time. We had been spending a lot of time together before that night, but it was the kiss that signified the beginning of our relationship. Ten years ago today, my life got a whole lot better.

Everyone says the love you feel for a child is unlike any love you've ever felt before. I believe that. But I don't believe it will take away one ounce of what I feel for my husband. I didn't think I could love him any more than I did, but I have somehow fallen deeper in love with him during my pregnancy. I know seeing him with our son will increase it even more. I also had a brilliant example in parenting and teamwork from my parents. They always made it very clear that they loved each other deeply and that we were fitting into their lives, as opposed to them revolving their lives around their kids. I think that gave me a great sense of safety and security because I knew they were working as a team to raise us. I hope Russ and I can accomplish the same thing.

A couple of nights ago, we lay in bed holding each other for a few minutes. Without any warning, I started to cry. I was overwhelmed with the feeling that everything we knew, and everything we were over the last ten years was about to change. I can't wait for the changes because I know they will be wonderful, but a part of me mourns the Russ and Lisa we've been up until now. I think that's normal and good. I think I need to feel these things.

I was really hoping I would go into labor today so we could tell our son he was born exactly ten years after his Daddy and I became an item. But it was not to be. It's a good thing, too. We would have had to name him after Sly Stallone's character in "Copland"... And Sheriff Freddy Arch doesn't sound too good.

Tomorrow we'll find out how Sesame's doing with a non-stress test. I can't wait. No matter what, I'm going to be a MOM in nine days!!!!!! Holy crap.

39 Weeks

168 this morning. AT HOME! Huh?

Bags? Packed.
Mother-in-Law? Coming soon.
Nursery? Ready to go.
Last trip to the bank? Accomplished.

Now all that's left to do is wait. WAITING SUCKS! I did a couple of errands yesterday and today and tried to walk as much as possible. I feel like sitting around makes Sesame lazy, and we do NOT want Sesame to be lazy. We want him to want to come OUT!

Last night I had to go to traffic court to fight a speeding ticket I got in May. Russ came with me and we got there at 6:00 PM, our scheduled time, only to see about 50 other people waiting in line in front of us. Apparently, you get an appointment time that is the same as EVERYONE ELSE'S APPOINTMENT TIME!

So, all of us chumps are waiting in this long line and a bailiff comes out at around 6:15 to tell us the staff hasn't arrived yet. Awesome. This is just what I want to be doing for the next three hours. Hanging out at the courthouse waiting to plead my case. I've never fought a traffic ticket before, but I know I'm in the right on this one. The officer said I was going 20 miles over the speed limit and I know for a FACT I was not. He obviously clocked someone else and made me the fall guy. I had facts and a hand-drawn map to back me up. Russ drew the map. Duh.

Anyway, at around 6:30 they called us all in to the courtroom and told us to sit down. Then they called our names one by one and had us sit in the center of the courtroom in groups of six. There were so many hard to pronounce names, that when it got to someone named Elizabeth Smith, the bailiff actually thanked her for having an easy name. "Thanks, Liz. That was easy".

When I got up they asked how pregnant I was. I said, "Nine months". They said, "Come up front so we can get you out of here. It's been three years since my EMT training and I don't want to have to use it." That's one of the perks of being pregnant, I guess.

Then we had to listen to a tape of our rights that answered absolutely no questions about what was about to happen. It basically told us that if we had committed a crime or a misdemeanor we had the right to an attorney and all that. But we were all there for traffic tickets! I almost scratched my name in one of the pews in the courthouse so I could be arrested for damaging federal property. I wasn't getting the five minutes back that it took to listen to the tape, so I at least wanted to put it to use. Are there pews in courthouses? Or are they just benches unless it's a church?

Then they told us that an attorney was giving his free time to hear our cases and that he wasn't getting paid so they could save taxpayer money. We all stood and solemnly applauded as he walked in. Just kidding. The "attorney" that entered the courtroom literally looked like a fat, gray-haired, homeless guy who they just pulled off the street. Sort of Stephen King in a judge's robe. He called me up and asked me how I plead. Pleaded? Plead. "Not guilty", says I, readying my paperwork and clearing my throat to argue my case. "Pay your bail at the clerk's window. Thank you", says Homeless Stephen King.

Is that it? Did my cop not show up? Am I done? NICE! Then I walk into the clerk's office only to discover that, not only am I NOT done, but this was just a bullshit way for them to get me there to schedule my ACTUAL COURT DATE!! WHAT??? So, I had to pay the full amount of the ticket and schedule another time to be there. I chose the written argument option instead, so I'll be sending a bunch of pages with maps and things to argue my case. If I win, I'll get my $273 back. If not, I'll then have the option to schedule a court date and argue in person.

RIDICULOUS!!

Russ, Sesame, and I wasted 90 minutes of our lives at that courthouse last night. I was so pissed.

I just wasted about six to ten minutes of your time, depending on how fast of a reader you are. That makes me feel better.

38 Weeks, Wednesday

Still 165.6 this morning and 168 at the doctor's.

During my last couple of appointments my OB/GYN asked if I wanted to be induced or if I'd rather wait for it to happen. Both times I've said I'd rather wait. Both times he seemed a tad surprised and maybe even a tad impressed. I might just be reading into it, though. So, the news as of today is that I have two appointments next week for a non-stress test. My actual due date (according to the doctor) is Tuesday, Sept. 11th (Don't worry... Good things need to happen on that date too!) so I'm going in on Monday and Thursday.

The basic point of a non-stress test is to make sure the baby is reactive. They hook you up to a couple of monitors, one to measure the baby's heart rate and one to measure contractions. The baby's heart rate is supposed to go up when he moves, so they just want to make sure that's happening. His heart rate should also go up with any contractions. I guess as you get close to and past your due date, there is a risk of your placenta not getting as much oxygen to the fetus, or your amniotic fluid getting low. So basically he just wants to make sure the baby is fine to stay in there a while longer.

However! Yes, there is a however. However, if I carry all the way to September 18th which is one week past my due date, I shall be induced. I truly hope he comes out on his own MUCH earlier than the 18th. Induction sounds weird and scary to me because it seems like they sort of force your body to do something it's not ready for. Anyway, I'm hopeful he'll come out on his own terms.

Otherwise, I am a whole new kind of exhausted. I went out to eat after my appointment, and was planning to get a few things at Target right after. I need to round out my hospital bag and get some things we'll need when we get home from the hospital as well. So, I came home just to lie down for a minute before I went shopping and ended up sleeping two hours and not leaving the house again. I swear it's like zombies have eaten my brain and left me with a giant gut and over-active sweat glands. I did get a second wind tonight so I managed to get some laundry done. The house is a mess, so I'm trying to be in control of at least SOME household chores.

Also, typing has become much more difficult! I'm usually a very fast typist and make very few mistakes. These entries are now taking me twice as long to do because I'M A ZOMBIE! WEREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION?

Lastly, waves of excitement, panic, terror, joy, panic, fear, extreme happiness, panic, and excitement keep crashing over me. I am overcome with emotions. Wow. That's the word that keeps popping into my head. Wow.